Captain Mann
We were late finding a Motel 6 last night which I guessed is what caused Dean to sleep in the next morning. I loved it. It couldn’t have happened at a more perfect time because I was exhausted from yesterday. Only one more day on the road until we reach our destination, New Orleans. That alone was enough to perk me up. Dean was groggy and crabby, the result of worsening headaches. But I’m sure he would be fine after I rolled his medicine for him. We always waited till we were on the road before he took it though. We didn’t want to take a chance of upsetting any of the motel owners or have any of the pain-in-the-ass nosey adjacent room occupants calling the cops. Even though he was legal, we just didn’t want to go through the hassle.
It was a relaxing morning on the road again, just cruising along, listening to the radio, enjoying the sunshine. As usual, I had a lot of quiet time to think to myself, to reminisce and reflect. I thought a lot about our long mostly one-sided conversations. Even though I do almost all of the talking, somehow Dean makes me think. Sometimes his few words are impactful. I don’t understand it all and don’t believe it all. But it’s cool.
An old song came on the radio “Don’t You Want Somebody to Love.” by the Jefferson Airplane.” My answer would be yes. I wondered if Dean’s answer would be yes to that question. Dean rarely showed emotion. Except one time, after his salute at the wall, he was a little teary-eyed when he came back to the car. Maybe that was because of his TBI. Maybe he wasn’t capable of showing much emotion. Regardless, it was there. I know because I could feel it. Possibly because we’ve spent so much time so close together for so many days on the road. I could feel his vibes. That would be the best way that I can think of to describe it. Today I wanted to ask him about praying. But I’ll wait till he smokes his afternoon medicine. It really does ease his headaches. I can always tell when his mind is free from the pain. He is more thoughtful and more insightful. Sometimes he will say a few whole sentences like he did yesterday.
“Dean, Can I ask you something?”
“Yep.”
“Last night when you said out loud “God bless Jean,” was that a prayer?” He paused. Silence. I stumped him! “Dean, let me ask you a different question. Do you pray every day?”
“Yes.”
He said “Yes” not “Yep.” I noticed that before when I asked him about God or praying, he would answer yes or no, rather than yep or nope. That’s so strange. “Dean, I don’t know how to pray. Can I ask you about 7:11 and praying?”
“Yes.”
“Why do you pray?”
“Because I want to pray and God wants me to pray.”
“What do you pray about?”
“Sometimes nothing and sometimes everything.”
OK, I could see that this conversation was going to go in mysterious circles, so I asked him, “Why 7:11?”
And he just shrugged and said, “Seeing 7:11 is a reminder that it is the right time to pray.”
“But why?” I asked.
“Because I want to pray and God wants me to pray.”
Okay, I know I’m not the sharpest bulb in the drawer, but I’m not understanding any of his reasoning. Conversation closed.
I turned up the radio when a Mama and Papa’s song came on. “Monday Monday.” So appropriate and fitting for our Monday morning drive. I love that group and their music. I especially love Mama Cass. She is a beautiful woman with a strong beautiful voice. She dances so gracefully, swaying back and forth to the music perfectly with her perfect figure. I can relate to her so much. I bet we would be sisters if we ever met.
“Dean, look! The sign says New Orleans 50 miles.” I was thrilled, we should be there in just a couple of hours from now. “We made it Dean.” We did it!” Then soon afterward we saw another sign that said “Welcome to New Orleans, home of the Mardis Gras.” Just in time too I thought, because tomorrow will be Fat Tuesday. “Dean, where are we going to stay?”
“On base”, he replied.
“On base? Where’s that? Are you sure you know where you are going?”
He said, “Yep,” just as I saw a sign that read “Naval Air Station Joint Reserve Base, stay in the right lane.”
“How do you know these things?”
“I was stationed there.”
Then it hit me; oh my god, he thinks he’s still in the Navy.
“But Dean, you’re not in the Navy now. You can’t just drive onto a Navy base and book a room like we’re pulling into Motel 6.”
“Yep, we can. As a 100% disabled vet, I have a lifetime DOD pass. I can stay at any military base in the U.S. anytime.”
“No B.S.?”
“Nope.”
I was thinking to myself; You gotta be kidding me. This wacko who can’t even get a driver’s license has a pass that allows him to enter any U.S. military compound any time he wants to! I just sighed and shook my head in disbelief. I guess we’ll see.
I’m never sure what to believe about Dean because he is so different than any other human being that I have ever met. I was just hoping that he knew what he was doing and didn’t get us arrested for trespassing or breaking into a military facility. We pulled up to the guarded entrance and a sharp snappy Navy guard in uniform with a gun, held up his hand indicating that we should stop. I held my breath and thought to myself “Here we go. This tough-looking guard is going to look at this crazy wacko long-haired hippie and throw us right the hell out of here.” Dean rolled down his window and the guard asked. “Are you picking up or dropping off?” I sat quietly wondering what he thought we would be picking up or dropping off when it hit me that I completely forgot we were in a taxi.
Dean answered, “Neither, just visiting.”
I could see the look of disbelief on the guard’s face when he sternly said, “ID please.” Dean pulled out a card and handed it to the guard.
The armed guard told Dean to place the vehicle in park and turn the ignition off. “Wait here,” he said. I thought to myself; Oh my god, I think he’s going to call the MPs and have us towed and arrested! My heart was pounding, I was sweating. Dean was being Dean. In a few minutes, the guard returned and handed Dean his ID.
He said in a command-like voice “You may proceed, Sir” and he saluted us, or saluted Dean, I guess. Dean started the car and the gate lifted and just like that, we drove onto a secure Navy base. I almost passed out. This is freaking crazy! Dean drove us to the building marked “Naval Reception Center.” He parked the cab in front of the building near the entrance in a space that was labeled “short-term taxi parking.” We sat there for what seemed to be too long. Dean was silent, just staring. I wanted to say “Come on man, are we going inside or what?” But for some reason, I sensed that it was best to keep my big mouth shut. I sat quietly waiting for Dean to do whatever he was going to do in his own time. When Dean finally opened the cab door, I followed his lead. We walked up the sidewalk and went inside the building. It was a fairly busy room with a lot of Navy-looking type of people roaming around. Everyone was staring at us. I imagined they were wondering; What are the two hippie-looking freaks doing in here? We walked over to the reception desk and Dean said “I’m here to see Popeye.”
The room turned quiet and I heard a guy whisper “Ah Oh. Nobody is allowed to call him that… those freaks are going to get booted right out of here.” The guy at the desk looked up at us, never flinched, didn’t smile, didn’t look pissed off either, just stared at Dean for a minute and then said, “Wait here.” I almost passed out. I jabbed Dean with my elbow. “What the **** Dean! That wasn’t funny. I heard whispers that you’re gonna get us killed!” A few minutes later a tall authoritative-looking man came out to see what was going on. The desk clerk guy stood behind the officer, watching, waiting to see what was going to happen. The officer walked up to Dean and asked “Can I help you son?” The officer coldly stared right into Dean’s eyes. Neither Dean nor the officer blinked until the officer smiled and roared, “Jimbo!!” Dean softly replied, “Yes Sir.” The officer embraced Dean, then shook his hand, took a step back, and saluted Dean. Dean saluted back. The room full of navy men fell even more silent. Stunned might be a better word. “Welcome aboard Jim,” as he led us to his office.
Dean introduced us. “Captain Mann, this is my friend Beatrice… Beatrice, this is Captain Mann. We served together long ago.”
“Nice to meet you “Ma’am,” the captain said as he shook my hand. He walked over to the cabinet behind him, opened the door, and asked Dean what he liked to drink. “No thank you Sir, you know I don’t drink.”
“Oh yes, that’s right, I remember now. You’re the only sailor in the history of the Navy that never drank!” They both laughed. “And you Beatrice, what can I get for you?”
“Nothing for me, thank you Sir,” I answered. Dean, aka Jim, as he was apparently known in his previous life, and Captain Mann talked for the longest time. I sat quietly and listened, not believing what I was witnessing. Dean was actually carrying on a full conversation like a “normal” person. The captain said, “It’s been a long time Jim, when were you here last? For the medal ceremony? Right?”
“Yes Sir” Dean replied, “It’s been quite a while. “I wondered if you would be retired by now.”
“Never! The captain roared, I’ll go down with the ship,” and they laughed again. Dean actually laughed! Who is this man? Then the captain said, “Jesus Christ, Jim, you look like Jesus Christ. You need a trim son. I can get you into the base barbershop ASAP if you want.” And they laughed again and again, and I was in shock. Jim, I mean Dean could talk and laugh for real! Dean said, “No thanks Sir. The beard covers up my scars.” The captain nodded, “acknowledged mate.”
“What brings you home Jim?” the captain asked.
“Beatrice wanted to see the Mardis Gras.”
“Oh yes, of course. That is tomorrow. Are you going too?”
“No Sir,” Dean answered. My eyes opened wide as my head snapped sideways toward Dean, “What the **** Dean! Oh, excuse me Sir. You’re not going?”
“Nope.”
“You just drove 1200 miles so I could go to the Mardi Gras, all the while knowing that you didn’t even want to see it?”
The captain interrupted, “It’s ok Beatrice, we’re going to make sure that you get to the Mardi Gras and see it all in grand style. I’ll arrange it. Where are you staying tonight?”
“Don’t know Sir, Dean answered, are there any visitor quarters available?”
“No, Sorry Jim, they’re all filled because of Gras. But no problem, you can stay in my officer quarters for as long as you like. Since we’re shipping out in the morning anyhow, I’ll sleep on the ship tonight. I’ll be gone for the usual six-month cruise.”
“Thank You Sir, that would be great.”
“You’re welcome, the bar is fully stocked and there is a sea bag full of GiN-ZUiE in the closet. Enjoy,” he winked.
“Sir, May I ask a question?”
“Yes, of course, Beatrice. Go right ahead.”
“You mentioned the last time you saw Jim was at a medal ceremony. I am curious about that.” Captain Mann got serious and looked at Jim, I mean Dean, now I don’t know what to call him.
“She doesn’t know?” the captain asked.
“No Sir.”
The captain asked, “Is it ok?”
Dean nodded, “Yes Sir, If it’s ok with you.”
“Of course, it’s ok with me. Come with me my friends,” the captain roared. He led us down a hallway to a large high-ceilinged atrium. We crossed the open area to a decorated wall with an overhead sign that read “Heros Wall.” Oh no, I thought to myself as I noticed Dean starting to twitch. I reached over and held his hand and that seemed to calm him down. It was just an automatic instinctive responsive action. Suddenly I realized that for the first time, I held Dean’s hand. Captain Mann pointed to one of the framed documents that had a picture of a fancy cross on it and then read the document out loud:
The other people in the Atrium, who just happened to be standing or walking nearby and overheard, applauded. Holy shit! I was stunned. It’s true! It’s really true! Captain Mann, Dean, and I stood there in silence. Dean’s head was bowed. The captain was smiling at me when he said “You may now kiss your Hero.” My head was spinning. He’s kidding me, right? Right? He waved his hand as if motioning me to go ahead. So, I turned to kiss Dean on the cheek. I shook my head no to that big old hairy beard and then I grabbed his beard pulling his head toward me and standing on my tippy toes, I kissed Dean right on the lips. More applause. I couldn’t believe what just happened. I had just kissed my Dean. My Dean? Where did that come from? Did I just say, “My Dean?”
“Sir, I’m sorry, but I need to go somewhere to sit down and rest,” Dean said.
“Yes son, some well-deserved R&R is in order. And I need to inspect my ship before we shove off tomorrow morning. You are dismissed.” The captain looked around, “Ensign! he roared, please escort my friends to my private living quarters.”
”Yes Sir!”
“And be sure that provisions are made for any and all of their needs as they will be staying there indefinitely.”
“Yes Sir.”
As we were being escorted out of the building, I could hear Captain Mann yelling “Why is that damn taxi parked there unattended? Where is the driver? Have it towed and impounded. Get it out of here.”
Someone replied, “Sir, that is Dean’s taxi.”
Captain replied “I gave an order, get it out of here. Have it towed over to the motor pool. Have it cleaned inside and out, waxed and polished, inspected, and serviced as needed.”
“Yes Sir!”
RUCKSACK GRUNT - A Vietnam Veteran's Memoir 